She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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