Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
