How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
