mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
