Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
