i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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