U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she peed on how many people?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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