It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
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I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
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How does a face ride mean we're back together?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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