my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
