dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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