it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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