What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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