Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
