Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
