I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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