He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
