I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
