Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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