I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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