a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize