It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
