Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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