It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
