guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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