no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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