Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize