he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You're like the curious george of whores
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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