You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just invented taco cereal.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
