have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
