I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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