You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have demons in me.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
