why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
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I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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