so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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