I feel great
I just peed on a car
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize