I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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