can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
