I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
