I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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