I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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