Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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