Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
