I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
