Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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