So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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