We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
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