i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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