Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
FUCK WHALES
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
