Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
