Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
