do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Randomize
