it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
