so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
