So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
