the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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