i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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