If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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