We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought