I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?