Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .