i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?