Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
