I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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