I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
