apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
