pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
